Shifting Perspectives

With the new year I find myself going through a perceptive shift on how I define myself.  Ever since the birth of my son I have proudly worn the badge of a mom.  When my maternity leave ended I upgraded myself to Supermom (I think once you wear spit-up on your shoulder and oatmeal in your hair to work you earn the title).  I later declared myself SUPERMOM with the birth of my daughter.   I go so far as to say that when I define and describe myself to others, “working mom” are the first words I say and some days it’s hard to think past that.  I am also the first to admit that I could not do what I do without the help of my husband.  We have successfully balanced being full-time employees with being full-time parents to two great kids.  My hubby is my dream husband in that he embodies the new (and long-time coming) trend of being a hands-on dad versus being the “career man”.  I couldn’t have asked for more.

For 2014 we’ve been given the news that my husband’s job is being eliminated later this winter (total bummer in the fact that it wasn’t our choice).  My hubby has made the courageous choice to become a SAHD (stay-at-home dad) and I couldn’t be prouder of him.  This gives him the opportunity to pursue his own dream job of photography while taking care of our home and children.  Losing a job is a blow to the ego for any person, (perhaps sometimes felt more by men if you subscribe to gender stereotypes).  And it has not been easy to work through this change, especially when the transition out of the job is more than a 6 month process.  Surprisingly it’s also been a blow to my ego- I liked my badge of SUPERMOM, worn with pride for 6 years now.  My badge meant that I could organize and run a household of four people and a team at work and never miss a beat.  I am a self-declared pro at scheduling calendars, aligning activities, pre-packing bags, balancing work and family and never missing a meeting, deadline or soccer game.  My badge meant I was a provider, nurturer, lover, manager, co-worker, lunch-packer, head chef, laundress, event planner, household VP and I was SUPER

I find I need to shift my perspective because I don’t have to be SUPERMOM anymore.  In some ways this change is very freeing-it will be easier when I need to travel for business, I don’t need to mentally create the dinner menu in my head every night on my drive home, laundry and dishes will be done more often and when I take a vacation day it will truly be a vacation day, not a last-minute need because of a sick child or daycare being closed.  It also means I may not go to every doctor appointment, be the first parent to hear that day’s stories from school and I won’t be the parent the kids see in the morning before going to school.

So here’s to 2014, the year of embracing shifting roles and perspectives!!  Luckily not everything is changing, as my hubby already does more laundry and dishes than me (thank you!!).  But now he may have more time in the summer to wash cars and clean the garage in between swim lessons, play dates, bike rides and snapping those great pictures of our kids.  I have the freedom to concentrate more on my job while at work with less “mommy-guilt”.  While I may not be SUPERMOM, I will continue to be a super mom.  And most importantly, my children will be fortunate to be able to see that their dad was a strong enough man to put his children and his personal dream before his ego’s need to be a stereo-typical “career man”.

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18 comments

  1. You don’t have to do everything to be SUPERMOM. Being there and providing for your kids is a lot of work! Best wishes to your hubs on his new role, and to you as you adjust to less mommy guilt. 🙂

    1. It will be awesome to be guilt free! Thanks for stopping by!

  2. Hey Supermom (and every single mom is one)! Susie sent me over. Love the blog post. And congrats to you and your SAHD for making lemonade.

    1. Thank you! We are still smiling and making the lemonade!

  3. You only need to be Supermom to the one’s who matter. The rest of the world doesn’t give a fig. I’m sure your children and hubby think you are the best Supermom around and you will always be Supermom to them (even when they become teen-agers and don’t even want to be seen with you, you’ll still be their Supermom, trust me).

    Lovely post and good luck in your 2014 life adjustment!

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    1. Thank you for stopping by with a great comment!

    2. Thanks for the awesome comment!!

  4. Good luck to you and your hubby while you both evolve into your new family roles. And I think there’s room enough for the labels SUPERMOM and SUPERDAD in your family.

    1. I agree there is room for 2 capes in this household!!

  5. I can so relate to the shifting roles/perspectives. It’s happened before, but never as monumental as the way my life feels right now–with one kid moved out and the other with one foot out the door. Whatever jobs I’ve had over the years, mom was the one that was constant. So it’s strange for sure, this redefining stuff. Wishing you all the best! 🙂

    1. Wishing you the best too with your life changes! It is nice to have one constant in life.

  6. Susie sent me! Sounds like you have an interesting challenge in hand with the shifting roles. The role of supermom can never be eliminated as long as that’s what you want to be, so keep on rockin’ and rollin’!

    1. Thanks for stopping by! It will be a fun change in many ways.

  7. I am in awe of you being able to manage the household and a job for so long. Being a Mom is hard work and so is working. I hope your husband takes this as the blessing that it is for you to be able to make your family work the best for all of you. Happy New Year to you both as you grow into your “new” roles.

  8. Wow, talk about changes and new challenges for 2014. It sounds like you and your husband are a great team and although there will be lot’s of adjusting at first, I bet it will go smoothly. You have the perfect attitude about it. Nice partying with you at Susie’s. 🙂

  9. Fantastic! Welcome to the blogging community! We are all gentle here, well at least my friends are!
    How cool are the both of you??? It does take courage, but I think you’ll see a trend over the next decade with more women attending college than men. It’s about time there’s a shift! I was a full-time mom and loved it. Looking back I could have put in a few hours working. It would have been a confidence builder. It all turned out well though! No complaints.
    Thanks for bringing this to my party!
    Have fun clicking on links and introducing yourself. I think you’ll really enjoy meeting my fabulous friends!

  10. You’re right. A job loss can be a huge blow to the ego. Both my hubby and I lost our jobs at different times in the last year and a half. The thing I’ve learned is that when you hear “when one door closes another one opens”, they’re not being metaphorical. Okay, so sometimes the door turns out to be a window…but still if we open our eyes we often find the hidden blessing. Sounds to me like you and hubby may be well on your way to discovering that with his opportunity to pursue his passion for photography…and with him doing the stay home daddy, there’s no childcare costs. Yay!

    As for the whole Supermom thing? Super has more to do with how you love them unconditionally, look out for them, teach them right and wrong and how to treat the other people in their universe. Multitasking was just an extra talent you accrued along the way. 🙂

  11. I found your through Susie’s blog UMAMD. I think it is fantastic that you are ready to handle the changes this year with such grace and hope! Good luck with everything and I look forward to reading how everything works out this year!

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