Words of a Mom

Do you ever look back on your recent life and wonder what strange movie you’ve been cast in?  With two children and a dog odd things are sometimes said by us parental figures, not out of the ordinary for any family but if you caught only soundbites it is odd.  I have caught us saying the following recently:

  1. Don’t step on/jump on your sister  (seriously, I had to tell him not to step on or jump on his little sister’s belly)
  2. Take your finger out of your nose (this is so gross and needs to stop)
  3. Bare feet don’t belong on the table  (I don’t understand why putting your feet on the table while you eat is fun plus I’m not flexible enough to do this so  it weirds me out to see my child folded in half in his chair while eating)
  4. Pull your pants up! (my son likes to let his inner streaker out fairly often.  He just drops trou and runs!)
  5. Take your finger out your nose!  (yuck, yuck and more yuck!)
  6. Don’t lick that! (at least it wasn’t his finger!)
  7. Don’t puke there!  (this was directed at the dog, not the children)
  8. Stop touching her! or the equivalent version: Stop touching him!  (I know that every parent has said this a million times, it should be written about in the parenting books that newly pregnant ladies read to prepare them for the monotony of repeating this phrase)
  9. Don’t rub your butt on the carpet (again directed at the dog – thankfully it was not the streaking little boy)
  10. TAKE YOUR FINGER OUT OF YOUR NOSE AND PULL UP YOUR PANTS!  (Why can’t he ever do two things at once when I ask him to?)

I love my kids they make me laugh every day.  I hope you found a chuckle or two in this too!  Please comment with the oddest thing you have said to your child.



  1. oh just wait the list will get longer and stranger!!!!

    1. And a classic one happened today. At a family party the boys were playing with a NERF bow & arrow set. My son comes running down the hallway yelling “I shot Dad in the Nuts!”. It was a classic moment of silence while everyone absorbed what he said then we all died with laughter. I love kids!!

  2. Haha! Ah, some of the things I have had to tell Zoë in her 2 1/2 years amaze me. I never thought I would have to say, “don’t put your fingers in your butt and then in your mouth, wait… just don’t put your fingers in your butt or your mouth.” Yep… that is a daily one in our house 🙂

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Lady Goo Goo Gaga

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