I think that every parent experiences those moments when your child says or does something and you stand there in amazement thinking “I have a genius of a child!” I had this experience recently and it was one of those moments that felt profound I have found myself rehashing it in my mind several times since it happened. To set the stage, my husband has a wedding photography business so my 6-year old son is well versed in weddings, brides, grooms, and we’ve talked about getting married. At this point he’s decided he is not going to get married and live with us forever (I think, hope and pray that viewpoint will change as he ages). Here’s the story:
My son is coloring super heroes at the kitchen table I am at the counter getting organized for the holiday party. We are each minding our own business. Out of the blue my son starts a conversation
Son: “Mom you have to be careful with who you marry.”
Me: “Yes you do.”
Son: “You want to be careful that you marry a good person. It’s not enough to like them. You gotta love them. You want to make sure they aren’t tricking you.”
Me: Now looking up from my recipes, “Yes I agree”. At this point I was wondering how this thought got into his head and where it was going.
Son “You want to make sure they aren’t tricking you by pretending to be nice at the beginning but once you marry them they turn out to be a trickster. Like a robber. That’s why liking them for being nice isn’t enough.”
Me: “You are absolutely right.”
Son: “Robbers are really bad people, you don’t want to marry one. The police get them.”
Me: “Yup, they would be bad people to marry. Stay away from them.” I didn’t know what else to say, since this came out of the blue! But he is right! I kept thinking about how adult this sounded coming from him. He was so sincere.
In my son’s world a robber is one of the worst people you could be. Ahh, the innocence of children, it is wonderful to see it still exists. If only robbers were the worst people in society today. With all of the abusers, pedophiles, murderers, sociopaths, and other crazies walking the streets, some people in a bad situation might feel lucky if they were only married to a robber. There are many people who marry for the wrong reasons and the wrong people, it ends up in heartache and sometimes physical aches. Many of us have had friends who are dating, engaged or married to someone who you question as perhaps not being right for them and often it turns out that your friend realizes this after investing time and heart into the relationship. I guess the “making sure they aren’t tricking you” part is harder than it first seems for many people.
The simple and honest viewpoint of a child has a sense of genius in it. In a world where we over complicate many things, when you bring things back to a child’s perspective it is genius.